Discusting. Make me hate myself even more

Tadi.. Waktu tengah masak, adik aku bagitahu yang abah panggil aku without telling me the reasons why

Then aku pun pegi lah dekat abah. He's already at the outside on motorbike wanting to go somewhere. I walked to him and stopped, standing in front of him. Waiting for him an answer the reasons why he called for me.

I looked at him. But he just look away instead of looked to me who's already in front of him for 20 seconds.

My sister who saw the awkward situation said, "Abah! Tu kakak tu."

Then Abah said. "What?" He asked my sister who is far from him eventhough he can ask directly to me the reason why I'm standing in front of him

I keep my mouth shut and even confused for what happened. My sister said he asked for me but why he still asked the reason why I'm standing in front of him?

My sister said. "You said you asked for her right?"

He didnt even wanna looked at me who standing in front of him eventhough he relieze it.

By looking to another way, he said to clean up the kittens 'poop'.

I walked away.
Then, I realized..

And keep questioning myself why he turn his face away from me although I'm already in front of him.

You done a great job. Your father's already discusting to look to your face.

its hurt tho.
Its like hitting me hard.  Even standing in front of him for 20 seconds its like 2 hours.

I even feel discusted to myself after that happened. I hate myself