If you can understand

I pretended that everything is fine. I end up lying again and again. Telling people this things

"I'm okay."
When the reality is I'm not even fine. The minute I turn away from the conversations, I can feel my body dropped.

"Why did you lied?"
"About what?"
"Telling people that you're okay. Why did you lied?"
"Because I dont want to worried them?"
"Well, are they care about you? Why did you lied?"
"Because I know that they wont trust me whatever I say so its better to shut my own mouth"
"Did you tell them?"
"About what?"
"About your conditions."
"Yeah, I did. And they take my words as a lie"
"So why you still cares for their feelings? Why did you lied?"
"Pardon me?"
"Yeah , you lied because you couldnt tell them everythimg because you think they wont accept every words from you. So why dont you tell the truth? Why did you still lying?"
"Because it doesnt matter. Its hurts me more even they know the truth and they cant even do anything about it."

"They won't even care even if you tell them everything."

I couldn't put on words about the exactly how I feel.