The voice that I'm afraid of--too afraid to deal with

I experienced it again. Mendōkuse

I cant sleep last night and this morning I can finally sleep around 0430 am and waking up on 0630 am for Subuh prayer.

Then decided to take a nap again because it really exhausted for living like this. Its exhausted for using a lot of my brains, mental and emotions a lot.

Around 10 in the morning, i heard mom calling me like she keep shouting for my name over and over angrily.

I'm still in my sleep, thinking if I do any wronged to her for her to keep shouting my name like that. I'm afraid like hell. Too afraid eventhough I still not waking up.

My hearts beating so fast like I was afraid and running. That anxiety bothers me. I immendiately wake up and grab my towel to cover up my head and walk out from my room and heading to her.

Walking down the stairs and found out that she didnt even called for me.
I was shocked. Maybe it carried in my sleep and I keep hear her voice as I keep afraid of it.
Hearing her voices like it can kill me from the inside for what I've experienced till now