Things that I keep it by myself

Posted something on twitter about missing one of my lecturers and my exclassmate when we was on college commented on it

She's asking if I'm missing one of our friends.

I said I did. But I didnt mentioned the reason why I hasn't contact them for a long time.

Its just.. I'm afraid my tears will fall non stop when I hear their voice.

They'll asking me why I'm crying. I couldnt say that I'm crying because I have so much things in my head. I had struggled so much things by myself. I cant even lying to them telling tnat I'm okay.

I couldn't tell them my problems. Its like I'm burdened them so much.

I just.. Want to lean on their shoulders and crying until my tears dry. Without they questioning me about the problems. I'm not ready or I couldnt even find a way or words, thinking how to tell them

Yeah. I'm overthinking about it.
I dont want to upset them either.